I totally agree about Christmas presents. For years I ran around like a lunatic shopping for presents for family and friends. It was exhausting and expensive. One year, as all the little kids in the family arrived at college age, we decided to get together for a great Christmas meal but to skip the presents. We’ve never looked back. A few new members to the family had a hard time with it at first but love it now. Throughout the year, if someone admires something I’ve made, they know they can ask and it will be theirs. My grandson and his wife just bought a house. We moved into a house that could not easily accommodate all the things we loved so they shopped our house and rented a van, loaded it up and now those pieces have a new life with two people we dearly love. That makes me smile. My granddaughter admired some jewelry I wore regularly when I was working but don’t anymore. Now they are hers. That works so well for all of us. Happy Holidays. I really enjoy your posts. Years ago, when you had a yarn shop in Sebastopol, I took a top down knitting class from you and loved it so much that I’ve never stopped knitting. Thank you for that.
Bless the gift and let it go. For all kinds of giving, including $ to the person begging on the street. That’s very hard work; who am I to judge what that human being needs? Who am I to judge? Thank you for the reminder.
I recently wrote a similar essay about holiday gifting. I found research reporting that over 50% of Americans are disappointed by at least one of their gifts, resulting in $10 billion in unwanted gifts!
I learned a valuable gifting lesson last year: I knit a shawl and presented it to my DIL. She seemed shocked and then disinterested. I should have noted that I have never seen her in a shawl, nor has she ever expressed interest in any of my knitting projects.
I’m a really slow knitter but I have knit dolls and clothes for both granddaughters. The oldest (4) gives me regular commissions which I’m happy to fulfil. Otherwise I knit for me.
I haven’t made gifts since the 80s. I have culled my list to the bare minimum. This year we decided to do no gifts. I’m going to spend time making things I want to make.
I had a shawl made for someone which I’ll mail soon. She lost her beloved brother this year. He was noted for thoughtful gifting and so after she admired my shawlette at the remembrance I had one knit in her color. I hope she will feel Jon’s hug.
For some years I have gotten in the habit of making a list of gift ideas starting in mid=summer, This said, I do try to keep Christmas to the last 1/2 of December, as much one can in this day of year-around holiday marketing. My 'must watch Christmas movie' is Ernest saves Christmas. :-)
I am the last of a breed, in that I think Christmas gift giving is meant to be presents for children. It has been fun to knit sweaters for my only grand-niece these past few years, but as she is now in 2nd grade, I know it will be best to give that up until she might be interested in hand knits again. It has been fun to hear that she wears her knits to bed!! Mean time she will have things to do with the sea and wildlife and gardening, all of which she loves. I like to remember family with little things I can afford and that are a treat. Chocolate dipped strawberries, Godiva Hot cocoa, potted bulbs and subscriptions to favorite Substacks have been well received. Wishing you all lightness of spirit as you enter the holiday season! :-)
I've cut back on giving gifts over the years. As many note, it gets expensive and you risk giving a gift that the person doesn't want ... I mean, I'm not a mind reader so ... ;-) The one thing I haven't stopped doing is sending an LLBean wreath to each of my nephews and to my brother-in-law. I started this years ago, not thinking it would become a tradition but it has. My sister (RIP) and her daughter-in-law often told me that the arrival of the wreaths meant the beginning of the Christmas season for them. So now, the day after Thanksgiving, I order the wreaths. Since my mom is no longer with us, I send what would have been her wreath to a cousin who spent a lot of time with my mom during her last few years. I know she misses my mom too so it feels good to send the wreath to her. And I expect NOTHING in return.
I told a friend about the wreath giving, and she demanded to know what my family sent me in return. For too many people, gift giving is transactional. No, my family doesn't send me gifts, but they know (because I've told them), that I don't want anything. They let me know when the wreaths arrive, they share their joy and that's plenty for me.
Once upon a long time ago, I knitted gifts for Christmas or birthdays, but not anymore. I don't like knitting to a deadline for one. If I do gift a knitted item, it's usually spontaneous; that is, not tied to an occasion. For instance, I knitted a "shrug" that I really liked but didn't think it looked that great on me. But I had a friend that I knew it would be perfect for, so I sent it to her. Fortunately, I was right. She loved it. But if she hadn't, that would have been fine too because I'm sure she could have found a home for it.
I totally agree about Christmas presents. For years I ran around like a lunatic shopping for presents for family and friends. It was exhausting and expensive. One year, as all the little kids in the family arrived at college age, we decided to get together for a great Christmas meal but to skip the presents. We’ve never looked back. A few new members to the family had a hard time with it at first but love it now. Throughout the year, if someone admires something I’ve made, they know they can ask and it will be theirs. My grandson and his wife just bought a house. We moved into a house that could not easily accommodate all the things we loved so they shopped our house and rented a van, loaded it up and now those pieces have a new life with two people we dearly love. That makes me smile. My granddaughter admired some jewelry I wore regularly when I was working but don’t anymore. Now they are hers. That works so well for all of us. Happy Holidays. I really enjoy your posts. Years ago, when you had a yarn shop in Sebastopol, I took a top down knitting class from you and loved it so much that I’ve never stopped knitting. Thank you for that.
How sweet you are to remember your experience at Knitting Workshop. You've made my day.
Bless the gift and let it go. For all kinds of giving, including $ to the person begging on the street. That’s very hard work; who am I to judge what that human being needs? Who am I to judge? Thank you for the reminder.
Thank you for this lovely reminder of two sentiments to live by:
Bless the gift and let it go.
Who am I to judge?
How much more content we'd all be if we could hold these at the front of our minds.
I recently wrote a similar essay about holiday gifting. I found research reporting that over 50% of Americans are disappointed by at least one of their gifts, resulting in $10 billion in unwanted gifts!
I learned a valuable gifting lesson last year: I knit a shawl and presented it to my DIL. She seemed shocked and then disinterested. I should have noted that I have never seen her in a shawl, nor has she ever expressed interest in any of my knitting projects.
l'm not at all surprised by the stats about the rate of gift disappointment.
And I'm so sorry you had that experience with your daughter in law. That's a tough way to learn a lesson!
I’m a really slow knitter but I have knit dolls and clothes for both granddaughters. The oldest (4) gives me regular commissions which I’m happy to fulfil. Otherwise I knit for me.
Few things are as satisfying as saying "Yes" to a 4-year-old
I haven’t made gifts since the 80s. I have culled my list to the bare minimum. This year we decided to do no gifts. I’m going to spend time making things I want to make.
I had a shawl made for someone which I’ll mail soon. She lost her beloved brother this year. He was noted for thoughtful gifting and so after she admired my shawlette at the remembrance I had one knit in her color. I hope she will feel Jon’s hug.
That is such a lovely gesture toward your friend.
For some years I have gotten in the habit of making a list of gift ideas starting in mid=summer, This said, I do try to keep Christmas to the last 1/2 of December, as much one can in this day of year-around holiday marketing. My 'must watch Christmas movie' is Ernest saves Christmas. :-)
I am the last of a breed, in that I think Christmas gift giving is meant to be presents for children. It has been fun to knit sweaters for my only grand-niece these past few years, but as she is now in 2nd grade, I know it will be best to give that up until she might be interested in hand knits again. It has been fun to hear that she wears her knits to bed!! Mean time she will have things to do with the sea and wildlife and gardening, all of which she loves. I like to remember family with little things I can afford and that are a treat. Chocolate dipped strawberries, Godiva Hot cocoa, potted bulbs and subscriptions to favorite Substacks have been well received. Wishing you all lightness of spirit as you enter the holiday season! :-)
May your spirit also be light!
I've cut back on giving gifts over the years. As many note, it gets expensive and you risk giving a gift that the person doesn't want ... I mean, I'm not a mind reader so ... ;-) The one thing I haven't stopped doing is sending an LLBean wreath to each of my nephews and to my brother-in-law. I started this years ago, not thinking it would become a tradition but it has. My sister (RIP) and her daughter-in-law often told me that the arrival of the wreaths meant the beginning of the Christmas season for them. So now, the day after Thanksgiving, I order the wreaths. Since my mom is no longer with us, I send what would have been her wreath to a cousin who spent a lot of time with my mom during her last few years. I know she misses my mom too so it feels good to send the wreath to her. And I expect NOTHING in return.
I told a friend about the wreath giving, and she demanded to know what my family sent me in return. For too many people, gift giving is transactional. No, my family doesn't send me gifts, but they know (because I've told them), that I don't want anything. They let me know when the wreaths arrive, they share their joy and that's plenty for me.
Once upon a long time ago, I knitted gifts for Christmas or birthdays, but not anymore. I don't like knitting to a deadline for one. If I do gift a knitted item, it's usually spontaneous; that is, not tied to an occasion. For instance, I knitted a "shrug" that I really liked but didn't think it looked that great on me. But I had a friend that I knew it would be perfect for, so I sent it to her. Fortunately, I was right. She loved it. But if she hadn't, that would have been fine too because I'm sure she could have found a home for it.
Your wreath tradition sounds lovely!
It is! I really enjoy sending them 🙂
I quit giving cash to grandkids as no thankyous so now i support local charities as this is a really poor area, knit about a hat a day.
I am also in the club of "if they can't even be bothered to say "thank you", why should I bother to send a gift?"
And thank you for your generosity to the less fortunate in your community.
Much needed input here. Thanks!!!!
You're welcome!
Your family is very lucky. This is a fantastic idea.
Adding pockets to garments is a brilliant gift!